1000 miles a minute

My brain will NOT shut off. Will not. And to be perfectly honest I'm rather surprised with myself about it.

I haven't posted in quite a while. I guess I've just gotten overwhelmed in the last few weeks or so. Working non-stop and making a trip to see my sister graduate, hubby's birthday, and everything else on our plates. Despite all of that I've been rather happy during the past few weeks. Hubby and I are happier and more in love than ever. I really am so lucky to have snagged him. A few days ago we mutually decided that we were tired of putting off starting our family. We both really really want it and feel like there is no better time than the present! So as soon as possible I'll be ditching the pill and seeing what happens. Because of that we also decided although I really find it difficult to handle certain things at work, I would be sticking it out and sucking it up and stay there as long as I possibly can. I would clearly need the maternity leave security on top of general security. I would hate to be at a new job and quickly getting pregnant after that. Also, hubby has made the difficult decision that he won't re-enlist when this four year stint is up. So in about 2-3 years we'll finally be getting back to Texas! I'm terrified and thrilled all in one. Honestly, I don't really know how I feel about it yet. I keep telling him he might change his mind (again!) and I won't be holding my breath. lol

So, tonight I find myself not able to turn off my brain and go to sleep. I'm tired, but not. I'm certainly exhausted, but I can't help feeling like I've set up an IV of caffeine sometime over the past few hours. In order to not disturb hubby toooooo much I decided to come in the living room and read/watch TV. Seeing my laptop I realized I hadn't checked anything all day long and hopped onto my email. Low and behold I have an email from an operations manager at an different tv station than the one I currently work for asking if I'd like to come in on Friday for an interview! What?! I'm completely shocked. Yes, I applied for it but gosh, I never ever expected to hear anything in return. And now I have no idea what to do. What about babies? As soon as we decide to go for it, I get an interview. There is no hope for me going to sleep soon. I truly don't know what to do. I guess I'll go just to see what they have to offer. If they pay more, I will just have to go for it... or if they can offer me a better schedule. And what about our vacation we have scheduled!? Oh geez. I can't wait for hubby to wake up and make me feel better about this whole situation.

Just to pass the time

A to Z of Me


A. AREA CODE: 972, that's what it's been most of my life. Funny.

B. BED SIZE: We have a queen. We considered going King, but I like being close to hubby. :)


C. CHORE YOU HATE: Taking out the trash. I just think it's icky.


D. DOG'S NAME: We don't have a dog yet. :/ Hoping to fix that soon though!


E. ESSENTIAL "START THE DAY!" ITEM: Coffee and cheerios!!


F. FAVORITE COLOR: Blue.


G. GOLD OR SILVER: Between the two it's silver, but I prefer white gold... that's what our wedding bands and my engagement ring are.


H. HEIGHT: 5' 7" ish


I. INSTRUMENTS YOU PLAY: Drums! I was drum captain in high school. SO MUCH FUN!


J. Job: Engineering department at the ABC affiliate where we live. I work with the studio cameras, audio, prompter, and tape/master control operater. LOVE MY JOB!


K. KIDS: I have crazy baby fever. Crazy. But we have some things to work out first


L. LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: Renting a house in a nice surburban area. Love it!


N. NICKNAME: Jules. Hubby calls me baby girl and little lady :)


M. MOM'S NAME: Gayle


O. OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAY: Don't know that I've ever had one


P. PET PEEVE: Oh goodness, too many to even begin.


Q. QUOTE FROM A MOVIE: Hmm.... that's a difficult one. Hubby can practically remember movies word for word, but I'm awful at that!


R. RIGHTY OR LEFTY?: Righty


S. SIBLINGS: Katie Jayne!


T. TIME YOU WAKE UP: That changes. Generally I get up about 9 am, but depending on what needs to get done I'll wake up earlier or let myself catch up on sleep.


U. UNDERWEAR: I don't really have a preference. I have another comment but it's probably TMI. lol


V. VEGGIE YOU DISLIKE: Do brussell sprouts count? Gah, I even hate how they smell!


W. WAYS/REASONS YOU ARE LATE: Stupid stupid trains.


X. XRAYS YOU'VE HAD: Teeth, chest, back, and elbow. Fractured my elbow, obviously had braces, and was in a car wreck.


Y. YUMMY FOOD YOU MAKE: Some of hubby's favorites that I make are Poppyseed Chicken, Manicotti, Pot Roast, Tangy Ribs. Among others. He's easy to please in the kitchen department.


Z. ZOO ANIMALS YOU LIKE: I love everything at the zoo! Minus reptiles!

A sea of boxes

Will I ever finish unpacking? Will we EVER be done settling into the new house? I feel like with every step forward I take, I take another two backwards. I really haven't been able to get a leg up on this crud. Hopefully I can really get going on all this mess this week and at least be done in ONE room. Our garage looks like the home of a hoarder... no joke. It's awful. In one little section I'm painting the furniture for our guest room, in another corner I've piled the garbage that didn't fit into the trash cans this week, and the rest of it is piles and piles of boxes. I literally have to keep my eyes straight ahead when I walk through it to get in the car otherwise I'll just feel even more miserable about all that's still left to do. I wish I had more than one day off this week, but I am determined to make headway! wish me luck!

Mother's Day

Today all I can bring myself to think about... other than being at work and attempting to be a productive employee, is how badly I want to be a mom. Lately, it seems to keep jumping out at me all over the place. Our evening female anchor at work (I work at a television station) is pregnant and has been showing off her sonogram pictures. I want to be the mom that shows off her kid even before they are born! I know three people in the last week that delivered their babies. THREE! I swear everywhere I turn something reminds me of my baby fever. It's kinda ridiculous. Hubby and I have been talking about it and going back and forth about what to do. My heart aches over this, it really does. We both really want to start a family but I honestly have no idea how we'd make it work. You ladies know how it is with being in the military and how the schedule is more of a guidline instead of something that's strictly followed. Well, generally, I work 2-11pm. What daycare could we find that could watch the baby for just the afternoon or a nanny that could do that for us? What if Hubby deployed? I'd be sunk for sure, especially with having NO family up here and no close friends to really speak of. Hubby and I don't cross paths near as often as either one of us would like, so when would we ever have family time? And it's really all because of MY job. That makes me feel worse. I love my job. LOVE my job... don't really like who I work for OR my schedule... or lack-thereof. I've been trying to find something else at a different station, but nothing has really opened up yet. I just don't know what else to do with my life. Deep down inside my deepest desire is to be a stay at home mom, but I fear that we'll never be able to live on just one income, much less a military income. I am completely awed by the families that are able to do that. I'm just down in the dumps I guess. I want nothing more than to be a mother, but I don't know how to make it happen and I think that's the most depressing thing about it all.

Almost done

Ok, well tonight will be our first night to sleep in the new house but we still aren't done with everything. I'm at work right now while hubby is finishing up another load with his dad and two younger brothers. We only have a few things left at the old house and need to MAJORLY clean it before I'll feel ok giving the keys back and such. I am sooo anxious to get in there and start unpacking and getting organized again I can hardly stand it! Tomorrow I'm working the morning shift and then we're racing down to Texas to go see a concert with the in-laws and then back Monday morning in time for me to get to work that afternoon. Thank God the hubs took all of next week off otherwise we'd be sunk for sure. I've been laughing since we started moving because even since I've "been on my own" everywhere I've lived hasn't been big enough for all my stuff to really fit, but now I feel like we have zero furniture because there are too many place things could go! But, I guess that's a good problem to have :) Man, I'm beat!