Busy Beaver

Well, I've been kind of out of it lately. I feel like I've been running around like crazy the last few days. I did some spring cleaning yesterday and thoroughly enjoyed myself. The house isn't perfect yet, but it's certainly cleaner. I'm almost ready to start packing everything up for our big move in May. SOOOO excited about our new house. I can't wait to get in it. It definitely helps that I can finally open all the windows in the house and let the breeze in. I love nothing more than fresh air in the house and being able to hear the kids in the neighborhood playing outside. Makes my heart happy.

Hubby had his promotion ceremony this week and I enjoyed it. It was nice to see him so proud and I appreciated being able to be a part of the celebration. Later that night we walked around the mall just to spend some time together and ended up at dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. We sat there and had the best talk we've had in MONTHS! MONTHS I tell you! It almost broke my heart to have to leave. It was glorious just to sit there and catch up with him and talk about what all life has in store for us in the coming months.

At the beginning of the week I had been kinda down in the dumps and we had to talk about that too, but it was good to get it off my chest. I love my job, really I do... but sometimes I just don't know if it's worth it. I work nearly a completely opposite schedule to his. He works (generally obviously with it being the military and all) 6:30-3:30 and I work either 3-11 during the week and a 4am-8am shift on Saturday mornings. I don't have set days off yet but have NEVER had a normal weekend off, and I'll probably have tuesdays and wednesdays as my permanent days once we get another full-timer. That pretty much means unless it's his days off, or mine, we can kiss each other good bye in the morning when he leaves, and kiss each other goodnight when I get home. That's just not how I pictured my life... or my marriage for that matter. Every once and a while I get it in the back of my mind that maybe I could get my teaching certificate and teach multimedia in high schools. So when I brought that up to the hubby all he says is "do whatever you want to do babe" and "it'll get better once we move closer". Umm... that doesn't make me feel better in the least, and that's really not all that helpful! It hurts my feelings even more because I never imagined marrying a military man and being so far away from my family, but I love him more than anything and would do anything to be with him... even give up seeing my family more than three or four times a year. But that's a difficult sacrifice for me. I willing gave of myself so that he could fulfill his dream of being in the Air Force and find a job that he could be proud of, but he can't help me fulfill my goals and dreams? Help me find what will make me happiest? That makes me feel like I'll give anything to help him be happiest, but he wouldn't do the same. Slightly frustrating at times but I know he's not being like that on purpose. I'm not exactly making it easy on him... or myself for that matter. I guess my desire to be a stay at home mom is so overwhelming at times I can only see how long it's going to take us to get there... and not the excitement of getting there in general. I mean, we don't even have kids yet for goodness sake.

Anywho, I hope you all have a fabulous Easter weekend and enjoy some down ttime. :)