Mother's Day

Today all I can bring myself to think about... other than being at work and attempting to be a productive employee, is how badly I want to be a mom. Lately, it seems to keep jumping out at me all over the place. Our evening female anchor at work (I work at a television station) is pregnant and has been showing off her sonogram pictures. I want to be the mom that shows off her kid even before they are born! I know three people in the last week that delivered their babies. THREE! I swear everywhere I turn something reminds me of my baby fever. It's kinda ridiculous. Hubby and I have been talking about it and going back and forth about what to do. My heart aches over this, it really does. We both really want to start a family but I honestly have no idea how we'd make it work. You ladies know how it is with being in the military and how the schedule is more of a guidline instead of something that's strictly followed. Well, generally, I work 2-11pm. What daycare could we find that could watch the baby for just the afternoon or a nanny that could do that for us? What if Hubby deployed? I'd be sunk for sure, especially with having NO family up here and no close friends to really speak of. Hubby and I don't cross paths near as often as either one of us would like, so when would we ever have family time? And it's really all because of MY job. That makes me feel worse. I love my job. LOVE my job... don't really like who I work for OR my schedule... or lack-thereof. I've been trying to find something else at a different station, but nothing has really opened up yet. I just don't know what else to do with my life. Deep down inside my deepest desire is to be a stay at home mom, but I fear that we'll never be able to live on just one income, much less a military income. I am completely awed by the families that are able to do that. I'm just down in the dumps I guess. I want nothing more than to be a mother, but I don't know how to make it happen and I think that's the most depressing thing about it all.